That One Time a Guy Took Me to Get Ice Cream and Broke Up With Me

Okay, we weren’t really together. Yall know how dating as a millennial goes. You go on dates, spend time together, do all relationship-y stuff, but you aren’t official official. Despite these facts, he officially broke things off with my ass at an ice cream shop.

I remember it like it was a couple months ago. He texted me asking if he could come over so we could talk. When he pulled up, I came outside because I had people at my crib and I didn’t want whatever this talk was going to be to happen around them.

I asked him if he wanted to go on a walk or something, and he suggested we go get ice cream. I’m thinking, cool, ice cream, maybe this talk won’t be bad at all.

It was bad.

As we ride in the car I notice the energy is weird between us. We are talking, the conversation is flowing effortlessly, but there is something there. By the time we get to the ice cream shop, I know something is up. We go in and he orders some ice cream, and I squeeze in a little booth towards the middle of the shop. Luckily we are the only ones in the store for whatever is coming next.

He gets his ice cream and sits down, and I just watch him as he devours his passionfruit (or dragon fruit) flavored rolled ice cream.

I wait. He waits. I wait some more. He speaks up.


He goes he loves me blah blah blah but he doesn’t want to keep chasing something and not being content with what he already has blah blah and wants to make it official with the other girl he was talking to before me blah blah blah.

He finishes his ice cream while basically ruining my day. Guess what this nigga did next? He went and ordered more ice cream! I can’t make this shit up. Mind you, I didn’t get any ice cream cause how the hell are you going to break things off with me over sugary goodness.

The nigga ruined ice cream for me. I’ll never forgive him.

The ice cream shop is covered in sticky notes left by people that have visited the place in the past. I write “KV was here” on one of the notes as I wait for his greedy ass to get a second helping of rolled ice heaven to commemorate the time a nigga took me to get ice cream just to shit on me.  

He comes back and sits down across from me and immediately starts digging in to the ice cream. Whatever flavor he had that time looked good as hell so I’m even more mad. I get a call, and use it as an excuse for him to take me home.

We didn’t talk anymore after that. But, of course, in true millennial fashion, he continued to watch every single one of my Instagram stories and like my pictures.

I should've dumped that damn ice cream on his head. Love sucks.